Florida Gators: Who’s Your Daddy

Happy Fathers Day! We Florida Gators love this day every time it comes around, because it gives us the chance to recognize how many other schools see us as a father figure.

On the football field, we Gators take pride in being one of the most historically dominant teams in the SEC, with 3 National Championships and 8 SEC Championships. Today, we want to celebrate all the other teams that have made our success possible.

University of Tennessee

Vols, we want to thank you for always being that game on the calendar that consistently gives us a win. Ever since 2005 there’s only been one time where you guys disobeyed and beat us, but we can let that slide. An SEC East victory is always fun, but it’s even better when your fans convince themselves that you’ll beat us every year, just to be disappointed yet again.

You also gave us one of the most legendary moments in Gator history, which we thank you for.

Kentucky Wildcats

Big Blue Nation, thank you for being like Tennessee, a team we can always count on to beat. Aside from the obvious 31 game winning streak, a 53-19 series record is something we also appreciate.

Lexington was also the birthplace of Kyle Trask’s career, as he took over when Felipe Franks was injured in a win against the Wildcats.

It’s kind of your fault you lost that game though, who’s idea was it to have your kicker be named Chance Poore? I mean that’s just asking for a missed kick.

Georgia Bulldogs

We get it, you won the championship. We get it, you’ve won 4 of the last 5 with some blowouts. We get it, you have the series lead. But let’s look at a certain window of time that fits the agenda I want to push.

Since the turn of the century, the Florida Gators are13-9 against the mutts, and have more National Championships. We have a QB who has more rushing TDs than your best RB of all time.

We’ve also never given a transfer QB the Heisman trophy during the offseason, only for them to never play a snap. That’s never going away. Jamie Newman, thank you for giving us that joke.

I feel like this hit pretty much sums up this rivalry.

Also, our name comes up first whenever people bring up the rivalry. It’s Florida-Georgia, not the other way around.

Florida State

Last, and most certainly least, is FSU. There isn’t enough room on our entire website to put the clips, quotes, and plays that demonstrate how dominant we are over you.

We have the series lead at 37-26. We have a 3 game win streak. We beat you in a literal National Championship. It didn’t count, but Dameon Pierce scored on you without a helmet this year.

We’ve also never done this:

Thank you, Semi’s, for being the laughing stock of the state, and always giving us Florida Gators a great early Father’s Day present every Thanksgiving weekend.

Keep up with Florida football at Hail Florida Hail.