A Bluegrass Weekend: Florida Gators and USF Bulls Take on the Entire State of Kentucky


There is only so much Kentucky one person can handle. Seven straight hours on Saturday of the bluegrass state will have you reaching for a dull spoon in an attempt to take your life. No one outside of the state watches when

If you close your eyes and click your heels and say “there’s no place like home” over and over again, you will find out that Kentucky actually does have a few redeeming qualities. Wait a second. That’s Kansas (or Harlem if you’re a fan of The Wiz).

Kentucky is where Billy Donovan got his coaching start. And there are always rumors that the Wildcats would like Donovan to be their head man one day. Keep dreaming. Donovan has drunk the GATORade. How else do you explain his quick return after leaving for the NBA? Donovan was back so fast, he didn’t miss a single national championship trophy polishing session with Urban Meyer.

Bolton /

? Doesn’t that thought cross your mind anywhere between one and 1,000 times a day? I know it would weird me out. These are the types of things I think about.)

The final thing the state has going for it is that big, important horse race held each May. Known for its disgusting drinks (mint juleps are awful, you know it, don’t try to convince yourself otherwise, man up and have a beer) and ridiculous hats, the Kentucky Derby is referred to as the most exciting two minutes in sports. Are you kidding me? I watch the race. I enjoy getting together with my friends the week before to make our picks (unless you really know anything about animal abuse…er…horse racing, the ONLY way to make your pick is by selecting the single most bizarre name, so sit back and relax knowing you made the right choice going with Donuts by Lorenzen from the eight spot). But the most exciting two minutes in all of sports? Says who? The rich, southern jerk off who has downed four juleps before lunch and wouldn’t know a real sport if it fit him with pads, threw him on a field, and chop-blocked his accent-having ass into an earlier grave? The real reason I care about the Derby is because it gives me a few solid weeks of Secretariat mentions.

Ashley is looking a little worn these days
Ashley is looking a little worn these days /

). And always count me as picking against any team that was ever associated with



…Arkansas head coach

Bobby Petrino


Enjoy the games Florida and USF fans. And don’t get too mesmerized by those UK and UL television spots promoting the schools. Remember there is only one Gator Nation and only one school that possesses the most annoying (and overplayed) ad in the country…GO GATORS!