Questions with the Enemy: LSU @ Florida
Unfortunately I was unable to find another blog willing to answer questions about
LSU
this week. I tried, but no luck. But I think I was able to do you one better. With help from one of my loyal readers, I was able to track down the bigger LSU fan there is – William Robert Thibodeaux. Billy Bob was happy than a pig in you know what to answer all of my questions.
Questions: UF and LSU have combined to win 4 of the last 12 national titles. But neither was able to get through a season undefeated. Is an undefeated season really that much better even if you win it all anyway?
Answer: Woo wee! I didn’t kneaux it was 4 of the last 12. That’s close to 50% or something. I wonder who won it the other 3 times. To answer that there question, neaux losses is better than one loss. One loss is better than two losses. Gumbeaux is better than soup. Purple is better than pink. Well you get my point. Last year Louweseana State lost two games in overtime. One to those cats from Kentucky and one to those hogs from Arkansas. Basically I have two fixes to that right der: get rid of overtime and stop playing pussies and pigs. Neaux overtime and shoot, we’re undefeated. We were beating both of those teams at the end of regulation anyway. Back in 2006, we lost to dose darn crocs by 13, but in 2007 we beat them by 4. Put those two together and we come out on top. It’s simple arithmetical formulations. Derfore, we didn’t lose either of those years, seaux yer question ain’t right.
Q: Be honest, would LSU be better with Ryan Perrilloux at quarterback this year?
A: Of course we would be. We would be the best darn team in the whole of the Confederate States of America. Ryan Perrilloux was from Louweseana. Grew up in Louweseana. And belonged at Louweseana State. For the good Lord’s sake look at his name. Perrilloux. We like the letter x down here. There’s no need for the x, but dammit we like it. Go? We spell that geaux? The word cousin? We spell that wife. The name Saban. Well, we don’t mention dat der two bit traitor round these parts anymore.
Q: The Tigers have Florida, Georgia, and Alabama ahead on their schedule. Which is the toughest matchup?
A: Toughest matchup? Der is neaux toughest matchup. As long as we aren’t playing neaux pussies or pigs, we ain’t got nothing to worry about. We beat those crocs last year and we’ll beat dem again. We ain’t scared of the Bulldogs either. A Bulldog is a slow, fat animal. We’re the Tigers baby. Bring it on. As for those damn elephants from Tuscaloosa. He who won’t be mentioned ain’t got nothing on us.
Q: Gator fans love Steve Spurrier, but hate having to play him every year. How do LSU fans feel about Nick Saban?
A: Don’t know who yer talking about? Ain’t Spurrier the coach of the cocks?
Q: Everyone raved over Trindon Holliday and his world-class speed during the offseason, but he’s barely been utilized so far this year. How important is he to the offense long term?
A: You can blame that on me. Fore the season I had the whole team over for crawfish and oysters. Well neaux one told me you can’t serve oysters in the summer. Dose lil’ things taste good all year long. Anyway Trindon sure did like those oysters. He ate and ate and ate and since den just hasn’t been the same. We gotta get dat boy some of my famous spicy gumbeaux and get his system back in order.
Q: Obviously you bleed purple, but is there any other team you find yourself cheering for when they aren’t playing LSU?
A: Der ain’t neaux other teams. If a team ain’t from Louweseana, dey ain’t for me. Geaux Tigers!
Thanks again Billy Bob. This was very…uh…insightful.