The Long Snapper – Alabama, Wisconsin’s Band, Vanderbilt, FSU Beats Miami, and More…

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Due to unforeseen circumstances (i.e. I am a lazy bastard), there was no Long Snapper last week. But rest assured good friends, it’s back. As usual, here are my poorly constructed, highly unintelligent thoughts regarding the current state of college football. Take them for what they’re worth or don’t take them at all.

I’ve never liked Alabama. I hate all things crimson – from the Crimson Guard to Harvard’s daily newspaper. I have a problem with schools that have a mascot totally unrelated to their nickname. I despise all the things Nick Saban stands for, even if I have no idea what he actually does stand for. I don’t like helmets with numbers instead of logos. Visions of Freddie Milons give me nightmares. I think not taking the time to say “Ala” makes its fans lazier than I am. The school has supplied the Tampa Bay Buccaneers with an overwhelming number of players that can only be referred to as busts and not one, but two, garbage coaches. They were the winners of Urban Meyer’s worst loss as the Florida head man. And now they’re really ticking me off. They’re good again. There are a few prestigious programs that aren’t that prestigious for those of us that did most of our growing up in the 90’s. Alabama is a prime example. I’ve always followed college football, but didn’t truly become obsessed until I went off to college in 1997. Since then, the Heffalumps have finished under .500 more times – 4 – than they have won 10 or more games – 3. But now they sit at 6-0 and are near the top of the rankings. Barring an upset, they will almost certainly enter their November 8th matchup with LSU at 9-0. And if Oklahoma stumbles, we could actually see the Crimson Tide at #1. Gag me.

Javon Ringer Watch: 212 carries (In only 6 games! Last year he had 245 over the entire season.), 988 yards, 4.7 yards per carry, 12 touchdowns.

Former Nebraska running back Lawrence Phillips is back in the news. Gator fans will remember Phillips as part of the Cornhusker team that embarrassed Florida in national championship following the 1995 season. I’d pay to have that game erased from my memory. Anyway, it seems Phillips – who is no stranger to random acts of stupidity – has been sentenced to 10 years in prison. It really doesn’t matter what it was for at this point, all that matters now is that Phillips will remain where he’s been since August 2005 – in jail – which is a good thing for the rest of us.

A prominent fraternity at

Wisconsin

was banned from Saturday’s loss to

Ohio State

due to alleged reports of alcohol abuse, hazing, and sexual misconduct. What? I read that wrong? Oh sorry. It’s the band. The band was banned from Saturday’s game. Silly band geeks. Hazing is for the cool kids.

Staying with Wisconsin, the Badgers – who were the Big 10 favorite for about a minute – dropped their second game in a row. Also for the second game in a row, Wisconsin led entering the fourth quarter. The Badgers can’t seem to hold a late lead and pollsters are recognizing it. Wisconsin had gone from being ranked 8th and 9th to 24th and unranked in the span of two weeks. After this weekend’s matchup against #6 Penn State, there’s a chance Wisconsin might not appear in either poll for a while.

Tennessee benched quarterback Jonathan Crompton for the Vols game against Northern Illinois. Apparently Phillip Fulmer made the right decision as new starter Nick Stephens led Tennessee in an absolute blow out. Stephens threw 1 touchdown pass in the Vols 13-9 win. At this point, it’s hard to envision Tennessee finishing .500 or better unless the ghost of Tee Martin gets the starting nod.

Ball State

has entered the AP Poll for the first time in school history. The little school from I have absolutely no idea actually has a shot at staying there if their schedule is any indication.

Further proof that the BCS is nothing more than a crap shoot: Vanderbilt is currently #1 in one of the computer polls, while Oklahoma and Texas are tied for fifth in average computer ranking immediately behind Utah. Where’s Florida? Outside the top 12, which can be attributed the Gators only being higher than 25th in one of the computer rankings. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, computers are taking over the world. Okay, I’ve never said it before, but do yourself and your fellow man a favor and break a computer just to be safe.

Speaking of Vandy, after beating Auburn, the Commodores are now 5-0 and only one win away from technically becoming bowl eligible. With games against Mississippi State, Duke, Kentucky, and Tennessee still on the schedule, this could turn out to be a very big year for the brainy SEC school.

Worried USC was out of the mix for the national title? Well let’s be honest, no one was really worried about that. But after dismantling Oregon, the Trojans are making their slow rise back up the polls. With a handful of schools that still play each other ahead of USC in the rankings, don’t be surprised it the Trojans are back in it in a few weeks.

Missouri

looks more and more like the real thing every week. The Tigers are averaging 53.4 points per game and haven’t scored less than 42 points in a single contest this season. With Oklahoma not on Missouri’s regular season schedule, the Tigers have a chance to remain in the national title picture for most of the year. You have to wonder if

Chase Daniel

can keep up his blistering pace though. The Tigers live and die by Daniel and it’s hard to imagine the quarterback completing 76.3% of his passes for the entire season. I’m still not sold on Missouri, but not because of their players. Because they have yet to play a team that should’ve really given them a run for their money. Their first true test comes in two weeks against Texas – who will have just come out of the Red River Shootout against OU.

Stat of the Week: UConn running back Donald Brown – Javon Ringer’s main competition for the rushing crown – has rushed for at least 146 yards in all 6 of the Huskies’ games this season. Like Ringer, Brown has also surpassed the 200-yard mark twice.

Stat of the Week 2: Despite passing for more than 418 yards three times and having a low of 297 yards so far this season, Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell is on pace to finish with nearly 900 yards less than he amassed in 2007.

Watch out for Tulsa. The Golden Hurricane (HUH?!?) are 5-0 and averaging 56.4 points per game. An easy schedule and playing in Conference USA – which only has two teams over .500 – Tulsa could very easily run the table. Senior David Johnson currently leads the NCAA with a quarterback rating of 214.81.

In a battle of the once elites,

FSU

held on to beat

Miami

41-39. The Seminoles charged out to a 31-10 lead before the Canes stormed back to make it interesting. FSU withstood the comeback though and held on for the win. The game marked the second straight year neither team was ranked when they met. 2004 was the last time both programs were in the top 10 during the matchup. While FSU appears headed in the right direction – the Noles moved to 4-1 with the victory – Miami doesn’t.

Randy Shannon

is now 7-10 as the Canes’ head coach and only 2-8 in the ACC. With games against

Wake Forest

and

Virginia Tech

on the horizon, a third straight 5+ loss season looks almost inevitable. The talent is there, so the question is, how long before we start hearing the chants for Shannon’s firing? If the Canes don’t at least make a bowl game in 2008, the answer could be very soon.

College Football on the Web: For all you wanted to know – and more you didn’t – about the Mountain West Conference, check out The Mountain West Conference Connection.