FSUcks Hateweek: Seminole Jokes

Mandatory Credit redelephants.com

In honor of FSUcks Hate Week, here are some great Seminole jokes gleened from angelfire.com and jokes4us.com.

Feel free to share with any and all Seminole friends and family or on your facebook wall.

 

Q: What do you get when you drive quickly through the Florida State campus?

A: An undergraduate degree

Q: If you have a car containing a Seminoles wide receiver, a Seminoles linebacker, and a Seminoles defensive back, who’s driving the car?

A: The cop

Q: Why do Florida State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboard?

A: So they can park in handicap parking spaces

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Florida State library?

A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for hours

Q: What does a Florida State fan do when they win the BCS Championship game?

A: Turn off the playstation

Q: How many FSU freshman does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, it’s a senior level course

Q: What do you get when you surround a trailer park with a brick wall?

A: Doak Campbell Stadium

Q: How do you get to Tallahassee from Gainesville?

A: North til you smell it, west til you step in it.

Q: Why did FSU replace the grass with cardboard at Doak Campbell Stadium?

A: They always look better on paper

Q: How do you get an FSU grad off your porch?

A: Pay for the pizza

Q: What do you do when an FSU grad throws a grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and then throw it back

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a Seminole?

A: Nothing, because there’s some things even a pig won’t do

Q: What do a FSU and a Florida student have in common?

A: They both got into FSU

Q: What are the best four years of a Florida State student’s life?

A: First grade

A mortician and his newly appointed apprentice were working late one night embalming dead bodies. The mortician told the appentice he was going to go to the kitchen and grab something to eat. The apprentice, excited at his first chance to emblam a body rolled the cadaver over and got to work. He then noticed a cork stuck in the cadavers a**hole. Bewildered he pulled the cork out and suddenly the seminole fight song started playing from the dead bodies a**hole. He quickly put the cork back in and went to go get the mortician. The mortician ran in and and the apprentice explained what had just happened. The mortician pulled out the cork out of the bodies ass and the same thing happened. The mortician then answered “So what? I’ve heard that song come out of thousands of a**holes.”

An FSU fan was driving from Tallahassee to Gainesville at the same time a UF fan was driving from Gainesville to Tallahassee. It was very late at night and there were no other cars on the road. About half way between the two cities, they collided with one another. The accident scene was horrible. The cars were at opposite sides of the road all twisted and mangled. The Nole scrambled from his car and looked around at the mess. “I can’t believe I lived through this accident!” He thought to himself.The Gator got out of his car and checked out the scene. “Boy, God must really be looking over me! I can’t believe I lived through this.” He thought. Finally, the Nole walks over to the Gator and says, “This must be a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and stop being arch enemies.” The Gator says, “I think you’re right. Let’s drink to our newfound friendship.” Then the Gator pops the trunk of his car and pulls out a full bottle of Jack Daniels. He takes the top off and hands it to the Nole fan. After drinking about half of the bottle, the Nole fan hands it back to the Gator. “You’re turn,” he says. The Gator fan screws the lid back on the bottle and says, “Nah, I think I’ll wait for the police.”

 

 

Topics: Florida Versus Florida State, Seminole Jokes

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