Oct 27, 2012; Tallahassee, Florida, USA; Florida State Seminoles head coach Jimbo Fisher before the game against the Duke Blue Devils at Doak Campbell Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Melina Vastola-US PRESSWIRE

Breaking: Jimbo Fisher Rails Against the BCS and It's "Retarded" Computers

Florida State University head coach Jimbo Fisher in true Jim Mora fashion went on a rant about the BCS yesterday in his weekly media session.

Angry that his team might be left out of the BCS title game and possibly the new BCS playoff system Fisher went off blaming the “retarded” computers and the “retards” that use them.  Nevermind they lost to a weak NC State team when they had them beat by sixteen late in the game.

“Dabnabbit, it’s those dadburn computers that’s keeping us down, I tell you,” Fisher was quoted as saying.  “I wish we could go back to a simpler time when you didn’t have to actually play anybody to win a national championship like BYU did back in the good ole days.”

“Back then all Bobby had to do was smile for the camera, say a few dadgummits, and the pollsters would swoon like a tweener at a Justin Bieber concert.”

“Then the “retards” with their “retarded” computers came along and mucked everything up.  I mean they expect us to actually win meaningful games against meaningful opponents.  That’s about as crazy as getting milk from a buffalo.”

“You people with your fancy computers and smart phones think you’re better than everybody else, telling us it’s all about who you play not how you look. What’s this world a’comin’ to.”

“I’ll tell you what it’s a’comin’ too, next thing you know they’ll  be sending men up into space.”

“What’s that?  They already have sent men into space?  There’s people living up there right now? On a what? A space station?”


“Well I’ll be.  Smack my momma and call me a retard…”


No Seminole fans were injured during the making of this purely (somewhat) fictional humor sketch.

Tags: Florida State Seminole Humor

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